Top Ten Things People Don’t Know About Me

One of our recent assignments for WriteOn Joliet was to compile a list of ten things people don’t know about you… me… whoever. I though I’d give it a shot. I will start at the beginning.

1. My mother was not present at my birth. She was a schoolteacher and was busy grading papers.
2. I never knew my paternal grandfather because he passed away in 1926.
3. My second grade teacher forced me to learn to write with my right hand instead of my preferred left. To this day I can still write with both hands (though usually not at the same time.)
4. I didn’t know my name was Kenneth until I started first grade. I thought it was Kenny because that’s what everyone called me. (We didn’t have kindergarten in my hometown.)
5. I learned to fish at my grandfather’s pond when I was a kid. Later, I learned it was easier to use a pole and not my hands.
6. During inclement weather, I would ride my bike in circles in our garage. I guess that explains why I’m so dizzy to this day.
7. I was 6-4 and weighed 140 pounds when I got married. When I turned sideways to face my wife to say my vows, no one could see me.
8. I played competitive basketball until I was 38. One league I played in contained ex-NBA players. I realized I was out of my element and took up bicycling racing.
9. I once rode my bike 177 miles in just over eight hours. Don’t ask me why. I averaged 28.5 miles-per-hour in a criterium. I hit 57 mph going down a mountain road in Colorado, hit a pebble, hopped the bike but didn’t crash. (During one training ride in Colorado, my teammates and I passed all the motorized traffic on a winding downhill road. That was awesome.)
10. I appeared on TV numerous times as the drummer for a famous band in the 70s. (Extra credit for correctly guessing the band’s name.)
11. One of my father’s ancestors fought in the Revolutionary War. (I don’t know which side he fought for, though.)
12. I can count past ten.
13. Xxxx
14. I’m superstitious. (Not really.)
15. I’ve written 25, no, 26 books. (If you read this after June 2020 it will be 27 books. Maybe 28.)
16. Each book has sold at least one copy. (Thank you, Andy.)
17. “He moved with the agility of a brontosaurus in heat as he slipped under the shiny, satin sheet next to her.” is the most frequently quoted line from my writing.