Tom Brady’s Final Game

The Greater Delaware Procrastination Society wishes to extend their congratulations to the New England Patriots. Though they came up short in the 2057 AFC championship game, the Society would like to honor Tom Brady who announced his retirement just prior to the game. Brady’s grandson, who caught only eight passes in the game offered this about his courageous grandfather. “Grandpa did his best but it wasn’t meant to be. He should be proud of his accomplishments. He leaves the game having won 16 Super Bowls, including 4 after the age of 70.” Coach Belichick offered praise for his longtime QB saying, “He played one of his better games of the season today, but the cataracts which have bothered him for most of the season prevented him from seeing more than five feet away.” When asked how much longer he planned to coach, Belichick, who has been blind for over ten years, replied, “I haven’t given any thought to retiring, but not being able to see the game has made halftime adjustments more difficult.
Kansas City head coach, Andy Reid III offered praise for the Patriots, but did say he feels the rest of the league is beginning to catch up to the Patriots level of excellence. In other news, U.S. President Benjamin McGee announced his proposal for the new budget with a deficit of only $7,562.00.

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