The Greater Delaware Procrastination Society Technology Awards

Yesterday evening, 8-6-2019, at the home of Condredge Baxter-Holloway III (who didn’t bother showing up until ten minutes before the banquet ended) the Greater Delaware Procrastination Society held its 1990 awards banquet. The three members in attendance enjoyed a fine meal and the camaraderie of old friends. Finally, at 9:48 on the dot, Tom Behren Jr, Dennis T. Hernandez and Bob Lee Colwell, all now in their late 70s, sat in their recliners and watched as Benjamin McGee opened the envelope their fathers had sealed in 1971.

“Who wants to read the name?” Behren asked. “I don’t have my reading glasses.”

“I’ve been meaning to see Dr. Larson and get a new prescription,” Hernandez replied. “My appointment was for last November.”

“Give it to me,” Colwell said. “I had the foresight to bring my glasses.”

McGee handed the envelope to Colwell.

“Well, I thought I brought my glasses. I meant to write a note to remind myself to bring them.”

McGee rolled his eyes and took the envelope back. “I’ll do it.”

He pulled out the faded index card, turned it over and smiled. “Should there be a drum roll?”

“Maybe later,” Hernandez said.

“The winner of the 1971 GDPS award for the new technology that has changed our world goes to,” he paused for several minutes while the men took a nap. “The award goes to… Gage Brewer and the Elektro-Patent-Instrument Company of Los Angeles, California, for the invention of the electric guitar in 1932.”

The men clapped and Colwell managed to whistle weakly.

“I say this calls for a toast. Let’s try to raise our glasses to Mr. Brewer,” Behren said.

“Here! Here!”

“I say this is a well-deserved award,” Colwell said while nodding.

“Where would we be without electric guitars?”

The men spent ten minutes discussing their favorite musical artists from the 50s.

“I’ve been meaning to get tickets to see that new fellow all the kids are talking about.”

“Who might that be?” McGee asked.

“Curley Dickerson. He’s the one that was banned from TV for turning up his lip on one side and shaking his leg.”

“I’ve been meaning to buy one of them fancy color television sets, but my father always told me it was a fad and not to waste my money,” Hernandez said.

Baxter-Holloway arrived and took a seat. “Did I miss anything?”

Everyone shrugged.

“We need to endorse one of the candidates for president.”

“I like that Nixon fellow. He seems like a shrewd politician, and he used to be governor of California. He certainly turned that state into a model of financial respectability.”

“We’ve got time to take care of that at the next meeting,” Behren said.

“We need to schedule a time for next year’s meeting, and stick to it,” Hernandez said pointing a finger at his friends. “I’m sick and tired of… something… but I can’t remember what. If we’re done for tonight, I need to head home. I promised my wife I’d clear the driveway.”

“Why?” Colwell asked. “It will snow again this winter.”

“True. I guess it can wait until next year.”

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