Shave and a Haircut… Two Bits

I seldom use my blogs to rant about politics, the weather, the constant threat from creeping Charlie to suburban lawns, the lack of professionalism in reality shows or the current world economic conditions… However! I must protest.

Several days ago I stopped to get a haircut at the shop I have been frequenting for the last forty years. My son’s first haircut was at this location. He’s now over forty. Forty-six to be exact. How is it possible for me to have a kid that old?

Anyway, I saw a new pricing guide on the wall. Haircuts were now $20. I did a double take. They were $15 two months prior. $20 for a haircut. Totally mind-boggling.

I shook my head and thought about getting a haircut as a child. My father would drive to a farmhouse about a mile past Grandma and Grandpa’s farm. The farmer, who always wore overalls, would set up a chair in the kitchen and cut our hair. The total cost. 75 cents. 50 for Dad and a quarter to cut mine.

I realize the price has gone up over the years, but it’s getting too expensive to tip the barber. If I get a cut every two months, and include a reasonable tip, I will have to budget for $150 or more per year. My first computer didn’t cost as much. What’s next? Will gasoline soon cost over three dollars a gallon? I remember when it was 19 cents a gallon.

Maybe I should boycott getting a cut and allow my hair to grow to my knees. I could always buy a new pair of scissors and cut it myself. It might not look as fashionable, but with the money I save, I could treat my wife to a weekend at her favorite spa. We could take a cruise around the world, or buy a combo meal at Taco Bell.

Some tough decisions are imminent. Do I sacrifice ordering a 2023 Corvette Z06 in order to look presentable at board meetings and for Sunday morning services, or do I start looking like Cousin Itt? I talked to my wife, and she asked if the Corvettes were available in bright orange.

Realistically, I’m not sure I could handle a Z06, but I lust after a fully-loaded Jeep Rubicon with 37s and a three inch lift. Any color other than black… or gray… or silver. Okay, I want a purple Jeep. Maybe red.

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to drive it because I wouldn’t be able to see with long hair covering my eyes.

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