Random Thoughts of a Strange Mind.

Have you ever wondered who was the first person to eat an eggplant? Or a rutabaga? Why did they think this might be something tasty to have for dinner? And why does adding bacon to something always make it taste better? With the possible exception of orange Jello.

How can you tell which end of a hot dog to eat first? If you start at the wrong end, can you turn it around and meet in the middle?

Harpo Marx proved you can burn a candle at both ends.

Has a turtle ever actually beaten a rabbit in a race? If they did race, what were the Vegas odds?

Why are there so many Bible names like Methusaleah, Zerubabel, Jehoshaphat, Zurishaddai, Nebuchadnezzar, Malachi, Kerenhappuch, Ehud and Uzzah? But then there are also David, John, Peter, James, Phoebe, Priscilla, Jason and Mary.

Who was the first pregnant woman to ask for a dill pickle and ice cream in the middle of the night? Was it Eve?

Why did Noah let mosquitoes onto his boat?

Before Julius Caesar decided to add two months to the calendar, were the years shorter? Is that why people in the Old Testament lived so much longer?

Why do we drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway? ( I didn’t title this blog ‘Original Thoughts of a Strange Mind’)

Who was the optimist who thought deer could read those signs along the Interstate and obey them? You know which ones I mean.

Who came up with the term palindrome? Or the word neologism?

If mustard seeds are so small, how did we find them in the first place?

If water is wet, how can there be dry ice?

Do other languages beside English have so many contronyms? Or homophones? I know of no other, but yet here in the states we hear examples every day too many times to count. It’s enough to make me slam on my brake and break down and cry. Let me throw out this often overlooked model to wind up this puzzle.

Is there another word for synonym?

How was glass invented? Did someone pile sand up in a window and then burn it?

Can something ever be in whack?

Why do drive through ATMs have Braille on the instructions?

If you take a large byte out of an Apple, can you see the core?

How does a school bus driver close the door when he leaves?

Who places those ‘Do not walk on the grass’ signs in the middle of the yard?

Who decided sliced bread was the best thing ever? And what was it before the bread slicer was invented?

How do you tune bagpipes? If you figure it out, who’s going to be brave enough to tell the Scotsman wearing a kilt how to do it?

Why is the alphabet in the order it is? Was it decided by a committee?

Along that same line. Why is there an extra R in February? Who decided on the spelling of Wednesday? Who decided it would be funny to put silent letters at the mbeginning of so kmany pwords?

Who invented string cheese and why isn’t it longer?

While we’re on the subject of dairy products, who first tried to milk a cow, and why did the cow let him?

If you drive a white Corvette and break the speed limit in the Antarctic, can the police see your car?

Who decided on the shape of Maryland? Were they drunk or just teasing West Virginia?

Why would you ever visit a psychic? If they were really psychic, they would have won the lottery and moved to Sun Valley, Idaho.

If ice was totally transparent, would you be afraid to walk to the North Pole?

Did Emo Rubik ever invent anything else? Is he a one-cube wonder?

Did Walt Disney build a better mousetrap? (This one might take a while to understand)

What kind of computer would Albert Einstein use? What kind would Isaac Newton use?

If Carl Wilhelm Scheele discovered Oxygen in 1772, what did people breath before that?

If no trees grow above the treeline, why does hair grow above your hairline?

If someone whacks you with a baseball bat made from a hardwood tree, does it hurt more than a bat made from a softwood tree?”

Would teepees have round tops if Eskimos had lived in Arizona or Nebraska?

Why doesn’t the DMV hire better photographers?

Why is the price of cars manufactured in China dependent on one single butterfly in Argentina?

If James Dean had left the house a minute later, would there be a Rebel Without a Cause, Part 5?

If you can’t see the forest for the trees, why can you see a sand dune?

If God doesn’t have a sense of humor, why would He (or She) put a fish’s eyes on opposite sides of its head?

The last one. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

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